This is going to seem strange, but I was not looking forward to traveling to Kona, on the “big island” of Hawaii. Why? I’m a city girl. I like seeing sights via walking or public transportation. I prefer museums, architecture, & bars to driving a Jeep, looking at nature & lying around baking myself in the sun. I read up on Kona when Thunderball & I received an invitation to a wedding there. I thought it sounded like a real snoozer. Plus, I abhor Spam. Had to eat it at summer camp once.
I began to change my mind when we deplaned at a tiny airport outdoors into embracing warmth. The baggage carousels were protected from occasional downpours by umbrella-like thatched roofs. Charming, yes?
The wedding was held in Pu'uhonua o Honaunau National Historic Park, Hawaiian for “Place of Refuge”, which has a cool, unique history. There are ancient tiki idols, giant sea turtles to view, & at the time of our visit, a class of tiny girls learning to hula dance. Adorable! This park is fantastically beautiful with landscapes that simply do not exist in the continental US. In many places, the lava formed ground is folded like glossy black fabric into mind-bending shapes. Palm trees are twisted like balloon animals from being scorched & scarred by volcanic activity. It’s apocalyptic, yet lushly verdant.
Another incredible landscape worth the long drive to see it is the view into the caldera of the island’s accessible volcano, Mauna Loa. There is a geological center at the top, if you’re feeling educational. There are also scenic areas where the surrounding vegetation has been engulfed in lava & steam jets out of the ground. Often there is a sulfuric smell in the air. It’s slightly disturbing. There is no guarantee you will see lava in the caldera, unfortunately, but it’s definitely unlike any other hike I’ve experienced. It’s also a very easy hike if you’re not in particularly good physical condition.
As a fan of Trader Vic’s, painters Shag, Krk Ryden, & all things tiki, I was slightly disappointed that there weren’t more kitschy Polynesian attractions, or for that matter, even many genuine historic artifacts. However, many awesome cheap and cheesy tchotchkes abound at the ubiquitous ABC Stores. Wooden serving bowls shaped like pineapples, bobble-torso dashboard hula girls, tiki god table lamps & ukuleles are yours to be had for mere pocket change. Just don’t try to purchase anything useful there. Necessary items are insanely expensive. You might pay $10 for 5 t-shirts, but that 10 oz. tube of sun block lotion will run you $20. Still the best place for souvenirs, though.
Also unimpressive was the restaurant cuisine. I expected a lot of fresh seafood & sushi, but was disappointed to find Bubba Gump’s, one of the tackiest theme joints in existence, where everything is deep fried except the cole slaw. We were able to locate one decent Japanese restaurant, however it was quite pricey. So here is what we did – purchased fresh local produce & baked goods at the outdoor farmers markets for a fraction of the cost. We had rented a condo with a kitchen, so we were able to store produce & cook. Our condo was in a fantastically goofy complex dating from either the late 1960’s or early 1970’s on the Alii Highway. This main road has several farmers markets located along it in parks & parking lots. We had absolutely no trouble finding one whenever we felt the need. Check local newspapers for days and times. 
The produce was amazing. The best deal was ripe, buttery avocados as big as my head for $1. Really, they weighed more than half a kilo. Home baked sweet bread was also abundant. It made a great breakfast with slices of sweet, drippingly juicy pineapple.
Snorkeling can also be done for very little cost, as many hotels and condo owners will loan out basic equipment. Even if you are not a swimmer, this is an activity not to be missed. Shallow, current protected lagoons dot the coast. Often they are filled with bizarre corals, incandescent fish & other amazing sea life. Just keep your hands & feet well covered, the urchins are sharp as broken glass! Underwater disposable cameras are well worth the investment. Don’t expect a soft sandy beach, though. Kona has hardly any. Most beaches here are made up of sharp black rocks. The few sand beaches are impossibly crowded. Make sure your lodgings have a swimming pool.
It is possible to be bored in Kona, I suppose, because most activities outside of beach lounging are things that must be sought out. However, with a little effort, you can make your own exciting & unusual entertainment. We didn’t explore much of the local’s area of the city, so we didn’t find any Hawaiian dive bars. Still didn’t have a chance to get bored, though! FP
