BAR NUN-Lucky 13 San Francisco, CA

Lucky 13 My Space page...blah!
Welcome to the inaugural edition of the Bar Nun. The title for this column was the idea of my partner, who laughed for hours (to himself) after he thought of it. I think of myself as more of a Bar Hag, but he claims I’m really not so much in the hag category yet. You be the judge. So since he calls me a nun due to my modesty issues, we’re calling it Bar Nun. He thinks this is an absolute scream.

Something you should know about me is that I love bars. Bars of all kinds. But for me, the best kinds are dive bars. You know them. In every city, there they are, dark, dank, possibly smelling of used ashtrays, whether smoking is allowed or not. Dogs &/or motorcycles parked outside. Tatooed bouncers. Cracked vinyl. Beer in cans. Lovely. I’m a total boozer, so don’t expect any reviews of taverns, no matter how charming & ye olde-y they are. Full hard alcohol service required to entice the Bar Nun.

A place that is particularly high on my list is the Lucky 13 in San Francisco, CA, USA. It’s in the Castro on Market Street not far from the Church Street Muni stop, which I appreciate because I do not want to go to jail for driving drunk. I aggressively advocate against my going to jail for driving drunk (or any other reason).

The Lucky 13 is dark & deep. It has no windows. The further in you go, the more ensconced in the bar atmosphere you become. Everything outside the bar melts away like a single ice cube in a hand warmed glass of Jameson.

Obviously, there’s a wee bit of a Halloween thing going here, but I swear it’s not a corny “theme” joint. The décor is spooky-cute with spider web murals & an extensive collection of unique rock show art posters. The cavernous ambiance is undisturbed by TVs or bar top trivia games. Rare lately. No food is served, but there is a super salty popcorn machine to keep you thirsty for beers. Sometimes, unpredictably, a cigarette girl-style snack vendor will materialize to sell you a $4 box of Milk Duds. Also, there is pinball. I care a great deal for pinball.

The kind of folks you will find hanging out at the Lucky 13 are modern bikers, laid back rockers & punk kids. Dogs are allowed too, but you will not find many hipster or scene-maker types. If you do feel like making a scene, take it to the photo booth, chumps. You can capture your antics on film with your choice of borders on the four picture strip, including the classic Wanted Poster. My favorite, of course.

The most wonderful thing about this bar, however, is that it hosts the most amazing punk rock packed jukebox the Bar Nun has ever encountered. A lot of the records are compilations, presumably made by the staff. It’s pretty eclectic. Last time I was there, the selection included Motorhead, a little Zeke, a smidge of Dead Boys, Teen Angels, some Germs & Cramps. Oh yes, that jukebox will rock you ALL NIGHT LONG, Lionel Richie. Don’t expect to find anything that’s ever been in the Top 40.

Now I’ve heard tell that some folks think the jukebox at Casino El Camino in Austin, TX USA is the best punk rock jukebox in the nation, but I must disagree. When I last looked it over, it was approximately 50% country discs. & really, nowhere else have I ever seen Zeke in a jukebox. Which is a damn shame, as I must admit it prefer it to Ernest Tubb. So check out the Lucky 13 when you’re in SF. They have a lot of booze.

In the immoral words of D. Lux Interior “Let’s go downtown & get beat up”. FP

2140 Market St. San Francisco, CA 94114

Traveling to Europe? Ask Rick Steves first.

Have you ever seen that dorky guy on public TV that tours around Europe going through the backdoor? OK, it's Rick Steves and I think we can all agree he is a very knowledgeable (albeit quirky) resource. If you have never been to his site before, I highly recommend you check it out. We have used his guide books on several occasions in France, Spain, Italy and England. The Rickster has saved us some serious cash and from certain embarrassment on many occasions.

My partner never goes to a street market without the damn fold-up backpack she bought from his site for $10. She's incessantly bragging about how it folds up smaller than her cell phone.

One exceptionally great area of ricksteves.com is the Graffiti Wall. Full of real user insight, it's always great to get other traveler's opinions. Even if they are a bit crazy at times. As Rick would say, "keep on travelling". JJ

Bored in Paradise?

This is going to seem strange, but I was not looking forward to traveling to Kona, on the “big island” of Hawaii. Why? I’m a city girl. I like seeing sights via walking or public transportation. I prefer museums, architecture, & bars to driving a Jeep, looking at nature & lying around baking myself in the sun. I read up on Kona when Thunderball & I received an invitation to a wedding there. I thought it sounded like a real snoozer. Plus, I abhor Spam. Had to eat it at summer camp once.

I began to change my mind when we deplaned at a tiny airport outdoors into embracing warmth. The baggage carousels were protected from occasional downpours by umbrella-like thatched roofs. Charming, yes?

The wedding was held in Pu'uhonua o Honaunau National Historic Park, Hawaiian for “Place of Refuge”, which has a cool, unique history. There are ancient tiki idols, giant sea turtles to view, & at the time of our visit, a class of tiny girls learning to hula dance. Adorable! This park is fantastically beautiful with landscapes that simply do not exist in the continental US. In many places, the lava formed ground is folded like glossy black fabric into mind-bending shapes. Palm trees are twisted like balloon animals from being scorched & scarred by volcanic activity. It’s apocalyptic, yet lushly verdant.

Another incredible landscape worth the long drive to see it is the view into the caldera of the island’s accessible volcano, Mauna Loa. There is a geological center at the top, if you’re feeling educational. There are also scenic areas where the surrounding vegetation has been engulfed in lava & steam jets out of the ground. Often there is a sulfuric smell in the air. It’s slightly disturbing. There is no guarantee you will see lava in the caldera, unfortunately, but it’s definitely unlike any other hike I’ve experienced. It’s also a very easy hike if you’re not in particularly good physical condition.

As a fan of Trader Vic’s, painters Shag, Krk Ryden, & all things tiki, I was slightly disappointed that there weren’t more kitschy Polynesian attractions, or for that matter, even many genuine historic artifacts. However, many awesome cheap and cheesy tchotchkes abound at the ubiquitous ABC Stores. Wooden serving bowls shaped like pineapples, bobble-torso dashboard hula girls, tiki god table lamps & ukuleles are yours to be had for mere pocket change. Just don’t try to purchase anything useful there. Necessary items are insanely expensive. You might pay $10 for 5 t-shirts, but that 10 oz. tube of sun block lotion will run you $20. Still the best place for souvenirs, though.

Also unimpressive was the restaurant cuisine. I expected a lot of fresh seafood & sushi, but was disappointed to find Bubba Gump’s, one of the tackiest theme joints in existence, where everything is deep fried except the cole slaw. We were able to locate one decent Japanese restaurant, however it was quite pricey. So here is what we did – purchased fresh local produce & baked goods at the outdoor farmers markets for a fraction of the cost. We had rented a condo with a kitchen, so we were able to store produce & cook. Our condo was in a fantastically goofy complex dating from either the late 1960’s or early 1970’s on the Alii Highway. This main road has several farmers markets located along it in parks & parking lots. We had absolutely no trouble finding one whenever we felt the need. Check local newspapers for days and times.

The produce was amazing. The best deal was ripe, buttery avocados as big as my head for $1. Really, they weighed more than half a kilo. Home baked sweet bread was also abundant. It made a great breakfast with slices of sweet, drippingly juicy pineapple.

Snorkeling can also be done for very little cost, as many hotels and condo owners will loan out basic equipment. Even if you are not a swimmer, this is an activity not to be missed. Shallow, current protected lagoons dot the coast. Often they are filled with bizarre corals, incandescent fish & other amazing sea life. Just keep your hands & feet well covered, the urchins are sharp as broken glass! Underwater disposable cameras are well worth the investment. Don’t expect a soft sandy beach, though. Kona has hardly any. Most beaches here are made up of sharp black rocks. The few sand beaches are impossibly crowded. Make sure your lodgings have a swimming pool.

It is possible to be bored in Kona, I suppose, because most activities outside of beach lounging are things that must be sought out. However, with a little effort, you can make your own exciting & unusual entertainment. We didn’t explore much of the local’s area of the city, so we didn’t find any Hawaiian dive bars. Still didn’t have a chance to get bored, though! FP

http://www.letsgo-hawaii.com/honaunau/

http://www.abcstores.com/

http://hvo.wr.usgs.gov/maunaloa/

Wit Wiz? Heck yeah!

It has been several years since I went to Philadelphia. Though I am now healthier in my eating habits, I often daydream about Pat’s King of Steaks at the corners of 9^th Street, Wharton and Passyunk Avenues in South Philly. I was a bit intimidated at the time of my visit and rehearsed the order in my head several times. After a 20 minute wait in line it was my turn. I am not sure what I said that day, but I know it wasn’t as well rehearsed as I had hoped. Despite my error they were nice and delivered a beautiful Italian roll filled with thinly sliced seared, rare rib-eye and smothered in Cheese Wiz. Yes that’s right, Kraft Cheese Wiz. I couldn’t believe it either; however, I had been told that is how a true Philly native eats their steak sandwich. Do I have any regrets? None. It tastes wonderful and now I can’t order a steak sandwich unless it is offered “wit wiz”. Fortunately in Seattle we have Tat’s Delicatessen in Pioneer Square. Two former Philadelphia natives run the place and they offer the “wiz” option just like Pat’s. Though a damn good sandwich, somehow it’s just not the same as sitting at the red metal tables surrounded by talk of the Phillies chances this year.

In South Philly you have several options with two of the most famous steak sandwich operations in the nation, Pat’s and Geno’s. I have not eaten at Geno’s, so I am unable to add my vote for the best steak sandwich on Passyunk. Let’s just say that if I make it back to Philadelphia I will be in line at Pat’s once again. JJ

http://www.patskingofsteaks.com/

http://www.tatsdeli.com/