BAR NUN-Bar Bolero in Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, Mexico

Puerto Vallarta has little in the way of what most cities consider “hipster” bars, but Bar Bolero is among the few.  That’s by no means meant to be disparaging, it just happens to be a very cool yet kitschy place.  A cozy little hang-out on the corner where Tequila Town used to reside, next door to Roxy’s Sports Bar & live music club, Bolero has an atmosphere much more akin to what you may expect to find in San Francisco, L.A, or Seattle.  This makes perfect sense, as at last visit, it was owned and operated by the proprietor of San Francisco’s classic dive, The Phone Booth (1398 S. Van Ness Ave. SF, CA 94110). 

While not technically a dive bar, the drink selection is astoundingly affordable.  All summer long Happy Hour lasts from 2 PM to 4 AM and features an overwhelming variety of premium cocktails, for the preposterously low price of 15 to 30 pesos.  Click here for currency converter.  Let me run down the drink menu for you so you can be amazed.

  I’m talking about bottled beers for 15 pesos – right this minute, this is only a few cents more than one US dollar, people.  That might be less than it costs at the grocery store!  Got cash burning a hole in your Bermuda short pocket?  What can you get for 20 pesos, you ask?  For less than two US dollars (I am not kidding, this is a super value destination), you can dump some shots of Jameson down your gullet, or you can have some fancy cocktails, like pina coladas, mai tais, margaritas, Russians, or tangy, delicious lime daiquiris.  For real!

Also available is what has to be my personal favorite name for a beverage, the Big Vicky, a 40 Ouncer of beer of indeterminate brand.  Seriously, Big Vicky!  It could be the name of a lady luchador! 

Bar Bolero has a wonderfully tacky collection of outsized black velvet paintings beautifying the interior, including the characteristic Matador and Stalking Puma varieties.  There is no juke box, but during our visit, obscure 1980’s songs and videos played over the sound system.   Also available for your entertainment is a pool table, but it seems that in order to use it, you have to beat the tight designer jeans-wearing Mexican rent boys taking a break from watching futbol next door at Roxy’s to it. 

Bolero is dark yet open, with large windows inviting warm Pacific breezes.  The lighting is dim and golden like candlelight, lending heavenly auras to all and making everyone attractive.  Lighting and fixtures appear to be custom metal pieces, giving a very arty atmosphere to the lounge, which is lined with serape-covered cushioned benches.  It’s a very comfortable and extremely difficult to leave, especially when the lime daiquiris keep on coming.

One excellent reason to leave, if only for a few moments, however; is that directly across the street is a taco cart, which appears to be frequently on fire, selling sublime tacos al pastor late into the night.   FP  

El Bolero A Go Go      

Ignacio Vallarta 229     

(322) 223-2358

 

Bar Nun-Willie’s Hi-Lead Inn Hamilton, WA

Like the Bermuda Triangle, Willie’s is shrouded in mystery & speculation. The allure is not knowing what to expect.

This truly down & out dive bar resides in a tiny hamlet halfway to nowhere near the Skagit River in a nearly windowless cinder block bunker. Perhaps the lack of seeing inside enhances the mystique? My theory about the name is it’s their warning to townspeople about the paint quality. The concrete interior is sparsely furnished with handwritten signs, juke box & indoor/outdoor carpets. Support posts in the bar are marked with tape lines indicating heights of past floods. Every year or so, furniture & electronics get temporarily moved to the roof as the mighty Skagit overflows. Many residences seen on the way through town, permanent & trailer variety, are raised up on blocks. Certainly an unusual sight to behold.

At Willie’s, activities abound. There are dart boards, horseshoe pit, pool tables & a wood paneled stage. Upon this stage has been witnessed the most horrifying karaoke to spew from a human orifice. Honestly, it’s bad. Once I saw a drunken local known as Johnny Appleseed enter, trumpet aloft, & play along with the canned music. For sure, this improved the experience. Let’s just say I’ve never seen a sober person sing here & the old dude that runs the karaoke is no golden throat, either. Most selections chosen are the C&W/1980’s variety. I guarantee they have Total Eclipse of the Heart.

One confounding thing about Willie’s is that though they do not offer premium liquor, they serve incredibly cheap delicious snacks, most of which are made right there. I have it on good authority that Monday’s special, “$1 Burger Night”, is fantastic. I’m a huge fan of their thick, crunchy onion rings ($3.75), & the breaded, deep fried mushrooms are mighty fine. They serve a homemade version of most standard bar appetizers, sandwiches, pizza, and occasionally, “broasted” meat items. I don’t know what that means, but most things I’ve eaten here were surprisingly tasty, though as with any place, there’s the occasional menu misstep. When you’re not paying for ambiance, prices can be extremely reasonable.

Back to the previous statement regarding liquor – Willie’s serves bottom shelf brands. Abundant $1 Schmidt in the can, flavored Smirnoff & the like. On one occasion, a request for better quality gin spurred a former Willy’s bartender to unpack a ladder from a storage closet, climb up to a hatch in the ceiling & retrieve a bottle of Beefeater from the roof. Evidently this is where the secret stash of middle shelf libations is hidden? Don’t worry, you don’t have to drink Schmidt. If you’re a high roller with $2.25 to blow, you can have a whole pint of High Life or Coors.

It’s also surrounded by scenic wilderness. Stop at Willie’s on the way to or North Cascades National Park or this here hiking trail.

Willy’s can be lots of fun for very little money. Don’t tease the locals & be sure to tip the bartenders well. Some of them are young folks saving up to get out of town & go to college. FB


Note: We normally offer a link to a business web site or review; however, there is none to be had. This appears to be the first review of this fine backwoods establishment.

456 Maple Street, Hamilton, WA 98255
(360) 826-4366

BAR NUN-Li Po San Francisco, CA

Li Po on Yelp

The Li Po is a delightfully seedy little lounge in San Francisco’s Chinatown that’s remarkably not attached to a Chinese restaurant. This section of the bar that’s shown in the photo to the lower right is the only part that’s not totally run-down & decrepit. Don’t look too closely at this part, either. Because when you first walk through the cavernous facade, it looks amazing, like a dive bar in a 1950’s Buddhist temple. Once you turn the corner to the left, where the bar rail ends, so does the faded glamour. Beyond the bartender’s reach is a room like you’ll find in any other bar, with beer poster covered walls & fake wood grain formica topped tables & booths.

The signature cocktail at the Li Po is the Mai-Tai, made with some type of rose liquor. What this stuff is, is evidently an ancient Chinese secret, because no one seems to know. But it is fabulous looking, large & delicious, no matter what they put in it. All their drinks are generously poured, however, so you need not endure umbrella drinks if it’s not your style. Your beverage will still be plenty satisfying. Other good things at the Li Po include a jukebox well stocked with 1970’s classic artists, such as Neil Diamond & Tom Jones. The staff is typically pretty friendly, too.

The Bar Nun definitely recommends that you go during the afternoon, though. Stroll over after a nice greasy dim sum brunch and re/dehydrate. The bathrooms, located down a narrow, slippery staircase, are pretty heinous during the day, so later on, after much more use, I can’t begin to imagine how scrungy they must get. I also understand that at night, the scary scary basement frequently hosts live bands, which causes the Li Po to be overrun with hipsters, instead of the usual mellow afternoon barflies one generally finds there.

Once you’ve bravely trekked down the block past the crazy old man on the corner of Grant & Washington who constantly yells “Happy happy happy” while waving an immense sign informing passers-by about how W & the Dali Lama are war criminals, you’ll deserve that Mai-Tai. FP

916 Grant Avenue CA 94108

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The Canterbury Eats & Ale

“Work is the Curse of the Drinking Man.”

Let it be known that I care a great deal for the Canterbury & that this piece will be neither unbiased nor objective. ACTUALLY, I FRICKIN’ LOVE THE CANTERBURY. It is unequivocally the coziest bar in my town. It feels like home, perhaps because for years I lived 4 blocks away & whenever my internet-porn addicted roommate used to chase me out of the apartment so he could look at skeezy websites, I would walk to the Canterbury.

Naturally, since those days I’ve spent much time in its Tudorian splendor of my own free will. Truly a dive, there’s been many a frigid winter evening snuggled into a roomy cracked vinyl booth enjoying the fire place and a glass of Jameson in this Olde English bar. Cathedral ceilings & cobwebby wrought iron chandeliers contribute to its haunted castle aura. Despite the décor, it is mercifully free of Gregorian chanting. In fact, the Canterbury has one of the best juke boxes in Seattle & it hasn’t been changed in at least a decade. Typical of a night’s playlist: Neil Diamond, Murder City Devils, Pixies, Tom Waits, maybe a little Van Halen, some Dolly Parton or Patsy Cline, possibilities are endless.

The cast of characters here is also unlimited. The staff is fantastic, consisting of no nonsense, hard pouring bartenders & cute, snappy waitresses. Patrons are generally heavy drinkers, few hipsters. Perhaps you will meet the elusive Ice Wizard, whose sheer absurdity rivals Spinal Tap. I promise this guy is for real. He looks like a Scandinavian death metaller, won’t divulge his actual name, wears a massive pewter belt buckle in the image of a wizard in a pointy hat holding a crystal ball & hangs out by the juke box urging folks to play his favorite selections from Screaming for Vengeance. You can’t miss him, just look for the leather biker jacket bedazzled with “Ice Wizard” on the back. Honestly.

Though not the place to find the cheapest drinks, the Canterbury provides excellent quantity for the price. Certain cocktails historically served as shots have been known to come in a rocks glass here, such as Chocolate Cakes & Oatmeal Cookies. Order your drink with or without mixer, you get the same amount of liquid. Happy hour is Monday – Friday 3 to 6 PM. The deal is 50 cents off all beer & cocktails. Not a great savings, but your $8 double call liquor drink is still going to come in a pint glass, even when it’s not happy hour.

For entertainment, there are several pool tables, pinball & shuffleboard. Pool is free until 4 PM every day. Better yet, bring a book or the newspaper & settle in. Feel free to treat it like your living room, whether it’s relaxing times or a lively gathering you’re searching for. It’s an ideal place to meet a few friends or arrange a shindig. Just don’t arrive hungry. Food here is often questionable, but the menu is sprinkled with fantastic quotations about drinking. If you’re really drunk, you should just have some nachos. FP

534 15th Ave E. Seattle, WA 98112
(206) 322-3130